MDRS Day 13 – Brave New World

The next crew arrived very late the night before, and we all woke up before sunrise to start the handover procedures. One of the new crewmates, Frank (the incoming geologist), was with me at the Space Generation Congress, so it was nice to see a familiar face among the new crowd. Jen knew the new commander from NASA Ames, and I think the new crew is going to have a hard time sticking together.

The new commander is a vegetarian, and because all vegetarians are inconsiderate, she forced her dietary habits upon the rest of the crew to simulate what an actual Mars mission’s diet would be like, despite reports that say tilapia grows perfectly well in hydroponic water and the universal fact that beef jerky lasts long after you die. She tricked them into thinking that every crew was doing it, but when J.R. broke the news to them before they went shopping, he advised them to sneak as much meat as possible with them. Apparently one guy brought 6 pounds of meat. Way to go, team.

I had a breakfast of Special with hot sauce and microbrew beer from Utah. Once everyone was finished with breakfast, the crew handover procedures began. The new crew engineer seemed capable of handing his own against Casper and whatever else comes along his way, although I must say I did a fair job leaving him with as few of problems as possible. I went through the four-page handoff checklist (the engineer’s checklist is the only one that is longer than one page, even the commander’s handover checklist is only one).

I showed him and another crewmate all that they needed to know about the outside engineering area, the water systems, the GreenHab systems, the power systems, the daily engineer’s report, and tips on how to make everything a little easier. I felt very rushed because we only had about two hours to do everything we needed to do, whereas when I was one the other end of the data transfer line, I felt rushed and we had two days, so I really feel bad for handing it all off so fast. It’s a good thing Paul will be there to lend a hand and finish where I left off.

Around 9:45 we all met up in the dining area to meet with Chris, the PI for Spaceward Bound. He had taken a look at what our crew had accomplished with the curriculum and was very impressed with our work, especially the ATV training manual, which I wrote entirely. I’m hoping that credit will end up on a resume under a “Publications” heading. Paul thought it was pretty thorough as well, but I know it’s not perfect yet.

I also had to explain to everyone how to use the bathroom again since someone left a mellow yellow that could have frozen and cracked the $500 porcelain bowl we use as a commode in addition to stopping the grinder. Even NASA people laugh when someone talks about excretion methods, which means if NASA does stand-up comedy nights after work, I know I’ll knock them dead.

We had to leave at 11am (or at least we were ready to get out of there at 11am since no one had an early flight to catch), so we took some final pictures and said our final farewells to the new crew, Paul, and Chris. It was sad to go, but it was someone else’s turn to learn through the curriculum we wrote. It was also someone else’s turn to put up with Casper the Unfriendly Generator. However, we still had a five hour drive with the worst piece of equipment at the MDRS: V’ger.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but the Plymouth Voyager that was donated to the Mars Society to shuttle crewmembers from Salt Lake City to the MDRS is not only far past its prime, it is dangerous. There is a huge oil leak, a coolant leak, a radiator fluid leak, a broken hood so it’s hard to refill those liquids, and a battery that was so dead it literally had to be jumped every single time it was turned off. It is also pretty disgusting on the inside, and if someone like me says that you know it’s bad.

Since the hood latch is broken and I’m the engineer, I had to use a pair of pliers and some brute force to pop the hood open from the inside each time we stopped, whether it was for gas, food, or when we arrived and had to go to Wal-Mart. Yes, we made it back to Salt Lake City after a five-hour drive with no incidents besides jumping the battery every time.

Jen stayed at the hotel to meet Chris, who had our luggage so we wouldn’t have to attach the trailer to V’ger, while the rest of us when to get the battery changed. Not only were we almost killed at least 3 times because the new commander is the most absent-minded driver in the world, when the battery was put in, the mechanic broke the only method we knew of opening the hood. J.R. and I stood there right as he was about to take the car into the garage and told him there was a trick and that we should get the hood open.

Mechanic: Naw, that’s alright, we’ll get it.
J.R.: Fine by us
J.R. (to me): ‘Cause I’m sure tired of doing it.

Now the hood is stuck, the oil is low and leaking, and the battery does not have a case and is being supported in the car by a bungee cord. Once we got back to the hotel, all the crewmembers let out a huge sigh of relief that V’ger was NO LONGER our problem.

LaTasha’s flight left the next day, so the rest of us said goodbye and went to the airport to have dinner and say goodbye to each other before boarding our red-eye flights. When it was just Jen and I left, she said she would hook me up with as much information on how to get money to go to conferences like the Space Generation Congress, the Mars Society Conference, and whatever else that she gets paid to go to. She also told me she’d right walks-on-water letters of recommendation for me if I needed them.

After the only successful, non-delayed series of flights I’ve ever been on by myself, I made it to Orlando and then drove home safely. It’s been a lot two days, but I’m back in Fort Walton Beach for the holidays. It’ll be good to see a lot of people I haven’t seen in a while. To sum up the trip, here’s a short list of the things I lost and the thing I gained while in Utah:

LOST:
The left side of the left mouse button on my laptop
The power button on my camera
The soul on my right ski boot.
One of three long sleeved shirts that I own and possibly a glove because of oil stains.
The notion that anything called a “frontier” isn’t that hard to conquer.
My desire to touch generators and leftover peanut butter and jelly pies.
My toothpaste at SLC security (“Colgate for the Juggernaut, ain’t that a #%^$@.”)

GAINED:
Experience I’ll never be able to have duplicated in another environment far beyond what I can write about in an online journal.
Experience I can take anywhere involving water pumps, power systems, and vehicle repairs.
The knowledge that engineers truly are sexy people, especially when they can fix anything for anyone, and that I need to get a good set of tools and a house with a garage to toy with everything I can get my hands on to be even sexier.
Knowledge of rocks beyond what I learned in 8^th grade
References and sources for letters of recommendation from NASA employees with Ph.D.s
One sentence on my grad school resume.
Fun

Not too bad of a payout for having a friend tell me about the program back in April. The End.

“Dying swans, twisted wings, bring this savage back home...”